There Are Days

Sometimes I don't like what I do, and today was one of those days.

I'm well aware that the book reviews I write are just my own opinion, the earth is going to keep spinning no matter what I think of a particular novel or story, but that book was written by someone and with feelings who has labored for months to produce a book they've poured their heart and soul into. That's why I really REALLY hate to write a negative review.

As much I try not to beat myself up over it and maintain some type of professional detachment, I have to admit that I don't always succeed. Today I submitted a negative review of a novel by an author who I personally like very much and whose past writings include some of my favorite Star Trek books. This one however, was far from great. It wasn't terrible but when you're expecting the consumer to shell out almost $25 for a book, it better be a whole lot better than mildly enjoyable.

I actually finished the book a couple of days ago but put off writing the review until today so that I could reread parts of the book hoping that my first impression was somehow wrong. Unfortunately the extra perusal only reinforced my intitial feelings so it was time to bite the bullet and just write the darn thing and I've been feeling guilty ever since.

I keep telling myself I'm only doing my job, that the review was fair, honest and objective but that doesn't make it any easier. Since I have a strong feeling that the author is going to be both disappointed and hurt by my comments on the book (I would be if it was me.) I decided that the courteous thing to do would be to warn him before he reads the review that it's wasn't exactly a glowing affirmation of the story.

Somehow I thought pouring all this out here, would make me feel better. It hasn't. Now instead of feeling guilty, I'm also pissed off with myself for feeling guity. Sheeesshh! I'll take that to mean it's time to find something mindless on tv to watch so I'll stop thinking so negatively.